tisdag 24 april 2012

PHOEBUS BEAT CLAN


I finally managed to get our new band's websites up and running, our first EP is a pocket size rock opera and you can listen to it right here right now, so feel free to check it out.

 

Phoebus Beat Clan presents:
Assjackal Rising - "a psychedelic punk rock pocket opera in three bloodcurdling acts. This sordid yet epic tale about a teenage female runaway come serial killer is sure to make your skin crawl and your hips shake simultaneously"
    

Here's the lyrics to all three acts of the punk rock opera:

Truckstop She Wolf:
Wo-oo, I wanna try and destro-oy, and I’m never comin back here no mo-ore
See I’m steppin outta the door
Da-aad, don’t wanna be no little princess, Took a razorblade and slashed up my prom dress – and puked a bunch a ‘ludes on the floor!
Mo-oom, don’t wanna clean up my ro-oom, and you can’t make me wear this fuckin’ costume
Never never comin’ back here no more!

Truck stop little she-wolf runaway, Hitchin’ up her skirt on the curb
Gashes in her arm from a trash can ladyshave
Grease fist clenching burger - cola can slurp

Fu-uck, yeah that’s right little sister I said it
And I’m not gonna pay no damn buck – See I’m gone and I’m not looking back
Shi-it is your world brother and you’re livin i-it, if you tell ‘em when I got home last nite – Yeah I’m fuckin gonna hit the road jack

Truck stop little she-wolf runaway
Hitchin’ up her skirt on the curb
Gashes in her arm from a trash can ladyshave
Grease fist clenching burger - cola can slurp



Assjackal Rising:
Plunged a nail file in the jugular - The fuckers on the floor pissing cabernet
Cracked his skull open with a porcelain ashtray - And he’s crawling for the door into the alleyway
Caught him by the dumpster with the 38 – Murder ain’t got nothing to do with hate
The soul's got the color of a rainbow – blood is red and brain is grey

Oxy-contin got nothing on this high – this my drug of choice from here on by

Slit the trunk with a razorblade – Stump leaking plasma on linoleum
Smothered the face with teddybear – Leg kicking rhythm racking onna ground
Open my mouth to inhale the gift – Soul like a vapor or an ultrasound
Third eye open like newborn child – Embrace the brave world I just claimed as mine

Razor slut slut is going beddy by – ass-jackal howlin at the crimson sky
It hurts to shed the skin
It feels so fucking good
Assjackal Rising
Assjackal Rising
Assjackal Rising
Assjackal Rising



Do You Wanna Murder:
Poison gas jackal looking for a living light
Bring them home daddy, they’re gonna go out in style
Finest fucking finery, for the ceremony, baby, nothings too bold or bright
Do you wanna dance doyou wanna dance tonight?

Shotgun shit jackal collector of the human life
Got my orders in, and I’m deliverin a vial full of grace tonight
Gonna open up, and invite them in, the fucking creatures of inverted light
Do you do you do you wanna dance?

Do you wanna murder, do you wanna wanna murder do you wanna murder tonight
Jacking offing people, lock and shock loading peepholes and hypnotize a world tonight
Kicking in the doors, creepy crawling on the floor fuckin’ cutting all the cords tonight
Yes I wanna murder, yes I really wanna murder, yeah I really wanna murder tonight

Razor edge jackal paying my dues tonight
Daddy, hear me, see me, won’t you be an angel now and lend me hand all right?
I’m coming, yeah I’m seeping in my sleep through the infernal vortex looking for a date tonite
Do you wanna dance?

Do you wanna murder, do you wanna wanna murder do you wanna murder tonight
Jacking offing people, lock and shock loading peepholes and hypnotize a world tonight
Kicking in the doors, creepy crawling on the floor fuckin’ cutting all the cords tonight
Yes I wanna murder, yes I really wanna murder, yeah I really wanna murder tonight

And when the murders done (I’ll) be the anointed one
The one who didn’t cling - to human suffering
And daddy calls me home – I’m sittin in his lap on his on his golden throne
A warm eternity with my name in fire on the inverted dome

Do you wanna murder, do you wanna wanna murder do you wanna murder tonight
Jacking offing people, lock and shock loading peepholes and hypnotize a world tonight
Kicking in the doors, creepy crawling on the floor fuckin’ cutting all the cords tonight
Yes I wanna murder, yes I really wanna murder, yeah I really wanna murder tonight


fredag 20 april 2012

The Cole Foster Interview Part 3

Our time I fear is coming to an end. Sweden has been so wonderful. My stay here was only supposed to be for a week, its turned into two and part of me will never really leave. During the exchange program Nicke and I have decided that we should probably contribute to each other’s blogs regularly. Now that the Rigid/Chain Drive Transcontinental Knuckle Sub is complete the Atlantic Ocean is just a puddle.

best tattoo I have

below the worst tattoo anyboodys ever seen

In the final chapeter of the C.F. interview we talk a little about Paso Robles, Clint Eastwood, erotic devices, and Cole’s new Car/Bike show on May the 5th.

C: I was talkin to some guy last week about Paso stories and was tellin him about when you and me and Job…

B: fuck (laughter)

C: it was late and I guess we were done partying and me and Job had a room and we were walking back and you were like cool! following us…

B: I stopped to take a piss, super drunk, I turned around you guys vanished…

C: (laughter) we hid from you while you were pissing and all we could here was fuck! you guys are geniuses! This is unbelievable! Thank you!! (laughter)

B: (laughter) instantly humbled! I slept behind a Denny’s that night. (laughter)


B: you think they’ll ever bring Paso back?

C: no.

B: I mean they still have car shows they're just not city wide overthrow like it used to be…

C: we were never liked there so I havnt been back, like when they moved it or whatever.

B: it would never be the same anyway, Sex Pistols reunion, that’s what it’d be…


B: oh can you talk about your Mentors story… its short but its funny…

C: yea we went up to see a show but we couldn’t get in or something, I don’t think I was 21? I think it was like ’82 or something. I was in highschool. And then there was a sign that said The Mentors and maybe Gang Green? I was with a guy I worked with and maybe he knew who they were I’d never heard of them. So we went in and it was just mind snapping, with the hoods and shit. And they called me a rockabilly faggot.

B: El Duche did?

C: yea, it was beautiful. There were chicks on stage and they were doing sodomy to each other it was pretty insane.

B: a very special evening…



Jeff Decker Cole Foster Jason Jessee Brandon Casquilho Jasin Phares
secret social strong arm

B: ok how about Clint Eastwood’s daughter (Allison) paying for your wedding party?

C: yea… well first off, shes really hot (cover of playboy) and still a dear friend she was always a rich chick without a dollar in her pocket you know what I mean? But like I said who needs money when your super hot, and Clints your pop's......instant.winner! You know I’d always have to pay for everything. change please..........not that she made us buy her alot of things, I just found it amusing really.

B: she made you earn it...

C: so my wife wanted to go to the hot new spot in Vegas for our wedding and Steve Wynn and Clint are pretty tight so I said hey Ive never asked you for shit right can you please just call your dad and have him call that Steve Wynn guy and get us in that fucking place? Cause it was like fuckin impossible you know? That Paris Hilton and those cunts were there the night before just impossible.

B: radical

C: there were people that looked like congressmen at my wedding all the way to Cant Stay Jose in red vans and 81 shirt. I think Chopper Dave was even there?

B: was he?

C: I think so yea. Rico dressed up with like new slip ons… there was like 20 of us moving through the lobby of the club whatever the hell it was called. And there were like 3 dudes that were like woa do you have a reservation?

B: oh shit

C: yea and I said uhh… Eastwood? And they called it in and then hes like OK right this way. We get through like 3 of those dudes with Jose and Dave Park and all these fuckin guys (laughter)

B: crazy

C: past the big huge line of 800 beautiful people all dressed up (laughter). We get to the final guy and he’s lookin at us like who the fuck is this crew (laughter)

B: (laughter)

C: the head guy was like Mr.Wynn welcomes you!

B: (laughter) you may enter!

C: it was pretty rad there was cocaine done on the table.

B: yea shit I would hope so the entire hotel is gold plated!

C: then Clint’s daughter’s little boyfriend kept coming around asking if we fucked her (laughter)

B: what the shit?

C: (laughter) yea it was great. I mean he knew I did but then other guys, random dudes from LA he would be like SO HAVE YOU EVER BEEN WITH ALLISON? (laughter) it was just insanity I think he asked the Kennedy Brothers…

C: He was just super insecure. He was so insecure, you know he would get that table service deal you know where you get like some 400 dollar bottle of vodka sent to the table or some shit?

B: oh god…

C: I think I had some pretty hi rollers at the party that were willing to help out you know like HEY I GOT THE NEXT ONE. But nope little guy wasn’t havin it ABSOLUTELY NOT I’D BE OFFENDED! It was great. I don’t know how much it was but we probably racked up about 7 grand or 8 grand (laughter)

B: (laughter) Grand Torino

C: I think it might have been closer to 12 grand …

B: holy shit

C: and he crumbled and had remorse the next day I guess. Allison called and was like do you think any of you guys would mind pitching in to… And my brother was like oh yea let me sell my car to pay for a quarter of it (laughter) she didn’t get a dime but we never heard another word about it (laughter)

B: I remember me and my ex girlfriend were there it was the first time I had a phone that would take pictures and I took a picture of me humping her and I showed your dad that afternoon down at the pool remember?

C: it was actually… she was actually gaping.

B: oh yea that’s right it was my first gape. And I showed your dad and he was like NICE and I felt like… weird pride…

C: yea you got a thumbs up. He saw my fuck stool once and he later told Rico it was the best thing I ever built.

B: well shit its been ridden a lot more than any of those fuckin bikes!! (laughter)

C: (laughter) actually its pretty rad… theres a new kid, you know at the shop. He saw the stool you know? He witnessed it. And he made one of his own. I had to give him the technology. I had to walk him through it…

B: yea rad, blender motor… how about keeping the boxes for the sex toys?

C: yea he knows that one. I swear to god he knows that tip! I tuned him up. He knows to keep the bag and the boxes that the dildos come in you know? He knows to wash em and put em back in the boxes like there brand new so you can use em again for each new chick… and he’s an AA guy so he’s just pulling them from meetings…

B: yea yea yea that’s the hunting ground.

C: well he’s killing it! And theyre hungry!

B: they cant suck a bottle anymore so…

C: I swear that box tip is the best shit ever.

B: yea that shit changed me when I heard that. That may have been my turning point

C: cuz you know no chick is every gonna be into just some random dildo at least not when youre there!

B: (laughter) hey so youre doin a car show now?

C: yea yea there was a pro TT race here in Salinas at the Rodeo Grounds that happened last year that nobody went to. So they hired another promoter this year and they thought in addition to the races theyd have some other stuff to draw the crowd. So they figured how about this Cole Foster guy hes kinda big in the car and bike deal. So it just kinda fell in my lap I didn’t ask for it you know that’s how it started. I was just gonna be another side act like the clown face painting and the bouncy houses. Then the lady tells me I can do whatever I want. So I tell her I don’t want anybody to just pull up in their stock camaro and I cant invite people to come out then try and charge them 60 bucks

B: yea that’s the kiss of death

C: so if the TT races weren’t there Id probably have passed but the races will be fun and they’ll keep people there and last year I think they were chargin people 60 bucks to get in this year its 20 bucks. The promoter says I don’t have to charge anything for our part so that’s cool. We had about a week to get the word out and I wanted to kinda keep it small. But its started to pick up a lot of response. I figure fuck it I’ll blow it out, now Moons coming, Dice, (laughter) we’ll have an after party cuz theres a neat indoor area were they serve drinks and stuff. Come to find out we know the guy that runs the whole Rodeo Grounds so we can keep rollin after the races are over. The place will close down but we stay and that’s when the The Highway Murderes come out..

B: oh no!!!!!

C: yea we got a couple other bands too. There could be 20 cars there could be 200 who knows. So yea theres not much in it for me, I’ll probably sell some shirts, maybe I’ll charge a little at the after party to pay for the bands.

B: it would be nice if we could have another good show down there to look forward to you know? Now that Paso’s long gone.

C: If it doesn’t go good we’ll blame it on Jameson. We put red and blue on the flyers to neutralize the gang element (laughter)

B: I heard theyre rereleasing Choppertown again in 3-D this time…

C: (laughetr) shit…

B: I think that’s about it anything you wanna add?

C: I like Swedish chicks…









tisdag 17 april 2012

The Cole Foster Interview Part 2

Here we go, part2 of the C.F. interview. In this installment we talk a little about Cole’s dad, Pat Foster. Then we go into some fond memories of Salinas Boys and some Salinas Boy hopefuls that didn’t quite get through the training program.


B: ok I don’t wanna dwell too much on your Dad cuz you know, that blog entry’s probably somewhere already (laughter)

C: yea…

B: one time, I hope we can talk about this, but one time I guess he was back east racing maybe? And somebody finally caught him and called him on his bullshit and made him make a phone call?

C: oh yea. That was a good one. Yea yea yea it was pretty bad ass… actually, yea I’ll tell ya, I guess it would be 1971? No wait… I was in sixth grade so 1975. It was the summer that I changed…

B: yea? (laughter)

C: You know my dad’s marriage, divorce, grandparents died, you know what I mean- gnarly, mom was humping the neighbor, it was just crazy, I found out Dad was with another girl…

B: an unscheduled punch in the balls?

C: Yea but whatever, he told me later… he was driving a race car out of Chicago and he was staying there. And years later when he came home I never knew why he quit or said he got fired or whatever. He came home cause he was seein some other race car guy’s little chickie. When the guy found out, he was a bad motherfucker, those Chicago guys didn’t fuck around you know he was South Chicago.

B: oh man…

C: So he found out, took dad at gun point to a phone booth, you know, gun to his head. And he says ok call the chick up, tell her that you’re splitting. So dad does it, not because he had a gun on him but just says hey whatever, Im out of here, nice knowing you ( to the chick)… then the guy says now call your wife. Then made my dad call his wife and tell her he had a girlfriend. My dad says he absolutely didn’t call his wife but just faked it and talked bullshit into the phone and the guy bought it.

B: gnarly!

C: yea really he faked it. But he did come right the fuck home after! (laughter)

Pat got more done by 10 am than we did all day. Bad mofo.

B: there must have been so much crazy shit goin on back then, wild west shit. Suitcases of blow for top fuel motors.

C: well there was actually a guy on tour from New York I think, Broadway Freddy. You may have heard of him. He was a hit man for the mob and drove a funny car (laughter). He was pretty famous, in mob books and shit…

B: shit maybe we shouldn’t talk about him…

C: oh no he’s dead they killed him. He had a huge cock you know? Like MANDINGO…

B: yea I think they all have em. You need one to drive on fuel. For ballast?

C: yea but Freddy’s was extra special … and it was cut off and put in his mouth (laughter)

B: (laughter) that’s where I’d like to have mine put finally…

C: those mob guys liked to do fucked shit to each other.

B: yea Mussolini too right when he got his? Maybe it’s an Italian thing… when fates fickle finger finally fucks you.

B: your dad kinda got you into smoking cigarettes right?

C: nah..

B: well didn’t you have to keep a few lit in your mouth in the pits so you could hand him one after a run?

C: well yea, yea he liked to have a smoke after a pass so I sometimes had to light him up one so yea maybe there was a start of a little addiction there.. but you know we just smoked as kids around the neighborhood…

B: ok got it…

C: oh here’s Noah (Greenberg) now. Hi…

B: Hiiii

C: Noah stayed up till 3am last night working on a mini bike.

B: wow Noah really?

C: yea I just finished some sheet metal for a little Bultaco so now Noah’s is the Jew Taco (laughter)

B: nice! Holy shit! I miss that fucker.

C: it’s actually one of those little crotch rockets

Noah: the Jewzuki

B: haha like the ones you buy at the flea market?

C: yea (laughter)

B: HiyaJewsa? (laughter)

C: HayaJewsa! He put some Rico type bars on it now it’s like a little motard

B: does Job (Stevens) ever ride the Berzerker anymore?

C: No

B: that’s a shame he has the best style.


B: who do you think has the best style on a bike? Who looks like they belong on one the most?

C: J (Jessee) probably and (Danny) Takahashi.

B: yea J for sure for me, I always attributed that to the fact that he surfed and just knew how to sit, but Danny’s great too. I don’t know if Danny surfs but he’s a kick boxer guy I think? I think he’s an animal and he’s modest about it. Masters of balance…

C: 3 days ago (Ben) Rega had this bike he went through, some thumper 500cc farm bike. We got there just as it was firing time, the perfect time. So he lights it up, we’re tuning the carb and nobody wanted to ride it. So I said here I’ll ride the fucking thing. No seat, never been on it, we didn’t even take it around the building once. I went 3 feet on the piece of shit and it just stood on its back wheel just stunt man high, back fender scraping wheelie. I just got hurt on that 4 wheeler at Pismo now I got this thing up in the air down Burton Avenue. I finally got the clutch in and nothing. Im waiting for this thing to come down and its just coasting on the back wheel how far Noah? 40? 50 feet? It was long enough for me to look all the way around at those guys and just look at them like really? (Laughter)

B: (laughter) the Foster Fulcrum point?

C: yea it was enough time to plan out how after I dumped this bike Rega just repainted and brought back to life, Id just stick it into a pole, get up, not say shit, get in my truck and run it over on the way out and that would be it (laughter)

this is what we usually look like

B: (laughter)

B: Ben worked for you for a minute right?

C: no not really

B: who has worked for you for the longest? Aaron (Elliot) probably?

C: yea by far

B: would you say he was your biggest success story?

C: success as in money? skill?  or in passing on bad habits!?   I love Aaron he is very skilled , he has been loyal and gets me excited about projects and has scheems to get rich all the time. Good sense of humor.  Hes my boy for sure.  Half the time people ask if hes my son.  He has a cute baby head
B: what about Corey (Coniers) hes pretty switched on right?

C: Yea he’s very good. But my biggest success story?  Whos the best? Man, I don’t know that’s a tuff one man Im gonna have to say no comment on that one.

B: (laughter)

C: The worst one ever is Jameson

B: (laughter) yea Jameson worthless retard. Remember the wolf kid?

C: there were a lot of kids that came and went that just didn’t have it you know? More than kids that did… for sure. But you and Thomas, Thomas had it when he got here you know? Not really style. But he was a very good mechanic, he could Viking his way through anything.

B: yea wasn’t he in the army in Norway?

C: hes probably reading this, hi. Hi Thomas…

B: hello Cole (in Norweigan accent) he was up in the morning waaay before any of us.

C: yea but Rega learned a lot just by hangin around I mean that shoebox he chopped is plenty good for a rookie job.

B: by far he was the best looking Salinas Boy though right

C: yea Ben was hot but Ive had some beautiful ones… that David kid was just beautiful in highschool

B: that guy hates me, that’s the guy whos chick just used him for citizenship right? (laughter) he was good lookin.

C: yea it was sad. There was this one kid and he still haunts me to this day and its been ten years. He was Ness’d out with love and hate on his hands and a panther tattoo on his neck. He worked one day, couldn’t do anything cut himself real bad. He just sucked I can’t remember this fuckers name. He just had this weird dream about himself.

B: so what he dressed like he’d been doin it his whole life, looked the part but he couldn’t do anything?

C: he looked like Mike Ness he was just a little cocky. He was just junk the first day. The rad part was he was some imposter dude. He went and worked were you did at Steve Moals, worked at Aiellos, he worked everywhere in the Bay Area. He would go into shops saying he worked here and he was the shop foreman and I was just a guy in the office. He said he built my Starliner and some other cars and he got hired at every place. And I didn’t know Steve Moal or those other guys but they knew of me and figured well fuck if he’s the guy then hes hired. But they didn’t know me enough to call me and say shit man if this is your shop foreman then you suck ass you know? I wish I could remember his name Id give you his number (laughter) I finally got a call from somebody sayin’ do you know this guy saying he’s this and that and he’s your shop foreman over there and so I called Jason (Jessee). The guy lived in Santa Cruz and I asked J if he ever saw him. Turns out the guy was dating some chick up the street from Jason so one day Jason took him.

B: (laughter)

C: so J grabbed him and locked him in his garage and the kid was crying and clawing at the walls. And J left me a message that said I have him! So I call him back like you still got him? Jason was like yea I’ve had him for a few hours and he’s getting real crazy!

B: oh god

C: so Jason’s got him and I made him call all the shops he worked for and apologize to them or something (laughter) but just last year I got a call from some place back east that asked about him again! I guess he’s been using my name again! God I wish I could remember his name.

B: I’ll find his name he’s finished. He’s done.

C: then there was the guy from Washington remember him?

B: hmmm, no I don’t think so

C: fuck really the big tall kid with the brain tumor?

B: oh shit!

C: ok shut up and listen this will be quick. So I was finishing up that Sal Tarentino truck and I really needed a clean up kid. And this guy was ready to move down. He moved from Washington. Then when he gets here he tells me that his parents sent him down to Mexico to get some experimental treatment for a brain tumor. I guess the Mexican doctor was just feeding these people in this clinic battery acid. Everybody died but him I guess. But it blew out his stomach. So the kids first day here he had that giant bowel movement… that bloated bowel something…

B: irritable bowel syndrome?

C: it wasn’t even a smell anymore…

B: it was more of an experience?

C: it’s something that you’ll never forget it would be like going into a slaughter house. He’d just destroy people where they worked. People would tell him never ever go into my house again…

B: no way…

C: but whatever, we had this idiot and he didn’t last very long and he was the guy like: I can weld and you’d hand him the mig welder and hed say shit like how long do you want me to tack it for? And we’d say what I thought you could do this shit and he’d say I can I just haven’t learned how yet. He lived at Job’s he infiltrated my phone book. Job said one day: he’s destroyed us you need to get him out of here. I was like ok I will tell him tomorrow and Job’s like no you need to tell him right now. It’s a long story but whatever I kinda fired him and he got a job at (Mike) Hubbards but he was fucked. He never had a job before you know? He was like a kid in a bubble his mom never let him out of the house. He was calling other hot rod shops in my phone book. Shit had hit the wall in the bathroom and he never cleaned it up, he ate all the food at Jobs. He had to go. But whatever so the last night at the shop we needed him. We were finishing that truck for Sal and he was helping but he’d get fatigued all the time because of the fuckin tumor.

B: oh man (laughter)

C: So he was always taking little breaks. We’d be workin just thrashing on this fuckin truck and he’d say shit like I need to go lie down. So I tell him ok go lie down and then I tell Corey, ok go fuckin’ next door and buy some speed from the neighbor. So Corey comes back with some speed, and I tell Corey go to 7-11 and gets some Mountain Dew or whatever he’ll fall for. So we doused him with some speed, this kids never smoked a joint never drank any alcohol… and to this day he doesn’t even know he’s done crystal meth or whatever right? like raw Mexican meth. (laughter)

B: (laughter)

C: I told Corey hey don’t kill him just give him a little… you know? (laughter) and put the rest in ours! (laughter) it was like a rad experiment like a rat. I was like hey these Mountain Dews are supposed to really give you some energy so he drinks it and all of a sudden he goes I FEEL FANTASTIC and he worked all night and never complained and THESE MOUNTAN DEWS ARE INCREDIBLE and Im like yea you’re right now clean up! So that was his last night, he didn’t die and the next day I had to fire him.

B: (laughter)

C: I told him the next day he was the worst. He ate all our food he couldn’t clean his own ass. He infiltrated our lives. I told him the next day he was leaving. No Im not he says. Yes you are I said or I’m gonna fuck you up. But before you leave you have to tell everybody you’re sorry and write everybody a letter about what a fucking cunt you are. I told him I’m not running a make a wish program here (laughter) I said if you do this maybe someday, we’re not gonna ever be friends, but if I see you I will wave to you and then we’re gonna keep walking…

B: (laughter) that sounds good I’d take that deal

C: so he left the next day crying. But like 2 years later I get a call from him saying we changed his life and that he didn’t realize he was a piece of shit and his parents raised him to be a piece of shit (laughter)

B: you changed his life! It was like that day you had back in 1975!

C: yea we helped him (laughter) and now he’s good he’s got a family and a good job! Works for a big name hot rod company now I hear. I still see him I still don’t talk to him. He walks by I get a nod and that’s it you know? For life. (laughter)

B: sounds good.

C: So yea most kids at the shop learn a lot and do pretty good you know, except for Jameson.


To be continued in part 3!

tisdag 10 april 2012

The Cole Foster Interview Part 1

So as much fun as Sweden is, I'm growing very homesick. After that long and controversial plane ride out here to the Northern Wastes, I wanted to reach out to someone Ive known for years and hold in the highest regard. We've laughed we've cried. Ive put him on time out for a couple years and he's fired me on the Discovery Channel. My phone call to Cole Foster was meant to be brief but ended up going for quite a while so Im going to break this down into a few parts. In the first chapter you will learn a little about him and a few other O.G. Salinas Boys, Noah Greenberg, Job Stevens, and the Gravelle brothers Todd and Chad. Over the past ten years theres been TV shows, interviews, tons of articles, fuck I think there was even a book? But that stuffs just to sell T shirts. Sit down and relax while Brando has a couple cold Fosters with Cole Foster.

self portrait


Brandon: hiiiii.


Cole: fuck….

B: ok were recording its recording right now…

C: yea?

B: this is the first time I’ve ever done this, I remember when we were kids we…

C: done what interviewed someone?

B: yea you know I remember reading interviews in skate magazines and stuff and you have to put stuff in parenthesis when it’s happening behind the scenes like (laughter) or SP?

C: what’s that?

B: I don’t know wrong spelling or something?

C: LMFO write that, laugh my fucking ass off… that’s my first word

B: ok deal, so we’ll just do this by the book here...

C: this is for what now? This is gonna be you on Nick’s blog?

B: yea I’m in Sweden right now and Nicke is in Richmond….

C: oh Nicki..?

B: yea Nicki or Nicke you know like Nick-Eh..

C: I call him Nico… I don’t know…

B: Nico??? Ha well yea that’d be ok too I mean Velvet Underground... pretty good…
B: ok please give your full name.

C: Arthur Coleman Foster

B: date of birth?

C: 2/12/64

heavy metal life drainer

B: ok excellent. So there’s so many things that I know about you and I got to see from hanging out with you for so many years but for sure like 3 quarters of that shit can’t be told until you’re in the ground right? You and probably Rico too...

C: yea… yea Rico would have to be dead

B: you guys have to be loooong gone before that book can be written (laughter)

C: which is soon….

B: you have some pretty great theories and I think we…

C: oh god….(laughter) I’m pretty tired man…

B: wait what? Shit you’re tired?

C: yea but go ahead…

B: shit sorry ok we’ll keep it short! So when was the last time you went to a swap meet? Like when was the last time you were up at 5 am to wait in line for a swap meet?

C: ummm… I’ve never gotten up at 5 in the morning … unless I was still awake at 5 am and just went to a swap meet. But I went to one not too long ago, I actually sold some stuff here in Marina.

B: ok ok not bad. But you always used to say why does this shit have to start at dawn? Why can’t we get in at noon and have breakfast first?

C: yea flash lights in the dark I’ve never been into that scene

B: kids now that have just come around, there like fuck bro you gotta get there early you gotta get the sweet deals… I can remember havin to go to the Turlock swap when I was like 9 with my fuckin dad and always dreading it I was done getting up at 5 by 9 years old. You don’t wanna be there you don’t wanna be in Turlock at any time of the day.

C: yea its bad but one time before that was pretty good, it was the only time we sold in Pleasanton and Job had the shittiest model T radiator or grill shell or something and it was wasted it was not movin so he made this sign for it that said FREE TO A FREEK

B: free? Free too a freak?

C: yea (laughter) and this guy came up and said I’m total a freak! And away it went (laughter)

still uncomfortable to look at

C: that was also the time, or one of those was the time that I was with Mike Ness and introduced him to Jason Jessee

B: no way (laughter) at a swap meet!

C: at the Pleasanton swap meet. And it was horrible. I like both of them and I said you guys will like each other but it was like putting two shitty dogs together. It was fucked. It was so awkward they just wouldn’t look at each other. There was no talking; just looking away it was super fucked. I mean they both had patent leather shoes…

B: (laughter) were they both going through a cholo phase?

C: yea I mean I don’t know if Mike had a fedora on but for sure Jason did (laughter) now there friends but it was just a terrible first meeting… (laughter)

B: Job and Jason and even Mike… all those guys surf right? Did you ever surf?

C: a little when I was in high school. We lived in the Valley so we didn’t get to the beach much. I mean I liked the surf board its neat you know what I mean? But I wasn’t that excited about it.

B: yea sharks are fucked I don’t blame you for every human I hope there are 10 sharks.

C: yea a kid got eaten right when I moved here. Lou Born, he’s dead.

B: shit…

C: yea I didn’t really know him but the coroner’s kid, I did know him, the kid brought the pictures to school the next day and I saw them. Carmel high had a surf team, I remember I had to tread water for a half fuckin hour (laughter) I quit skating before I moved here (from the San Fernando Valley) and got back into it when I moved up here that’s when I met Job and Noah through skating.

B: I kinda remember you telling me a good story of the coast guard or the navy that caught a plane or a boat or something?

C: that was a good one that was my most water time. The summer of the Sea WEED.

B: the summer of the Sea WEED?

C: yea I guess what had happened was a boat got caught comin up from Mexico full of weed. We heard about it on the news. But all the people living on the coast listen to that emergency radio deal you know, for emergencies or whatever. And I guess what happened was those guys were getting chased and they just started blowing their load over the sides. People were paddling out in kayaks and shit pulling in bails of weed. I never got any bails but I got remnants. There’s a little spot down there a little secret surf spot called Fullers that you gotta hike down to. Its fucked it’s a faggot spot I think. I paddled out with a bag in my teeth. I went out to the kelp beds and there was just tons of weed. (laughter)

I found a dead cow full of maggots when I swam back in. I took the weed home, washed it in the bathtub and repackaged it…. made some money (laughter).

B: strictly resale?

C: yea mainly sold it. Carmel High school it was rad you could make bongs in ceramics I still have mine. I’m not a big weed guy though. I’m a midnight toker. (laughter)

B: I bought Becky a vaporizer for Valentine’s Day you tried that shit yet?

C: what? No I just smoke it.

B: it’s like putting a supercharger on your mind dude!

C: the weeds so powerful now I can barely take it… (laughter)

B: speaking of superchargers… let’s talk about the car chase in your 55 Chevy.

C: yea that was a gnarly one. That was the last time I probably got into a real fight. I used to scrap a lot when I was a kid and it kinda sobered me up. After that I figured someone’s gonna get brain damage or die.

B: did you get fucked up?

C: well yea yea I got pretty hurt, it was a deal at a party were some guys ran up on a lawn or were tryin to run some people over. We jumped in the bat mobile you know? 55 Chevy pro street, drum brakes… but it had a good motor, 4 speed. It was me Job, Noah, Chad and Todd. Like six cars went chasing after these guys but we were the only ones that kept chasing them (laughter)

B: now were you lime green at this point?

C: yea

B: fuck lime green 55, the flag ship, you had to keep chasing them!

C: It was pretty crazy if you knew the area, from sleepy little Pacific Grove through Monterey through the tunnel getting sideways, they had a brand new Jeep Cherokee or some shit, good brakes and tires. We had like 165’s on the front and big meats on the back (laughter) Noah sitting on the window ledge in the back throwing beer bottles at their car.

B: making contact?

C: oh yea oh yea pretty good…

B: shit well done…

C: It was about six miles as fast as we could go at midnight running every red light. It was pretty bad ass. So we ended up in Seaside, DEEP in Seaside actually wich is .. you know… dark town…

B: it gets a little dark out there.

C: the kids pull up at this liquor store, one kid jumps out one kid gets punched and one kid jumped into the liquor store. The one kid came outta the liquor store with a bat and just hit Todd right in the back, never saw it comin…

B: Todd, he built that chevy that Rob (Fortier) has or had or whatever?

C: Yea Todd Gravelle…so it turns out that kid’s dad owned the store. So me and Noah run in there chase the kid, shits flying I get to hit him in the back of the head a few times but he gets behind the counter… and the kid just does this beautiful roundhouse kick right into my nose. Broken, blood is flowing, and Im pretty hurt. Noahs throwing pots of coffee and racks of shit.. Im telling Noah we gotta go man cause my nose is a faucet. Theres no stopping the blood. So meanwhile the Gravelle brothers have decided to bend back the doors on this kids Jeep. Noah jumps on the roof and caves in the roof on this thing, and the kid, the roundhouse kid is just a bad motherfucker. Im in my car with Job who never got out because he was the smart one, and this kid comes out with these two jugs of wine. You know Gallow or some cheap shit. He just hucks these jugs one goes right onto my windshield, gone, side window gone, just fuckin bombing me. I finally get my piece of shit started, my guys get in. The kid comes out with another barrage of wine jugs. So fuckin pissed, so I ask the guys will you help me fix it and theyre like fuck yes so I side step the clutch and push the jeep up over the curb and pushed it in hard between the doors, backed up and split…

B: radical…

C: it goes on and on but we never got in trouble for any of that mess. We went into the cop station one time but Todd and Chad’s folks were friends with some judge so we never got in trouble. I mean the other guys assaulting people out of their store with bats, that’s probably frowned upon too you know but we went down lied through our teeth and I never heard another word about it.

B: do you ever run into any of those guys anymore? Around town?

C: yea one of them was Rick-O-Billy!

B: oh shit that’s right. That’s what Job said. Rick actually worked with us at Salinas Boys for a while years later. And it was never spoken of!

C: yea it never can be its finished.

B: you know that may be the last time a 55 Chevy was ever in a car chase anywhere. I mean a real car chase.

C: It was in a rumble. (laughter)



TO BE CONTINUED in part 2





fredag 6 april 2012

Coming Very Soon

The Original Salinas Boy has a phone conversation with a former Salinas Boy.
You wont find this interview in Cycle World.

onsdag 4 april 2012

Brandon Invades Stockholm!


Oh my word its wonderful to be here! I'm not sure what the Stranglers meant when they said it was the only place were the clouds were interesting. The plane trip was a long one. Lots of time to think. It was a clear night and you could see for miles. You could see for years. I found myself  thinking about all the steps that had led me to that very point. For no intelligent reason at all, I was travelling 30,000 feet up in a relatively comfortable chair encased in a large aluminum thermos with wings. 

 Most of the passengers were dressed in your typical Euro airport travel garb. Urban hiking gear and obscure running shoes, upper middle class dress code. Everyone seemed to be enjoying their communal commuter coma. Rubbing my hands over my embarrassing worn out pants, i see the dirt in the cracks of my skin and the grease lodged under the my crusted fingers. It seems like Ive been kicking my own ass for the past 20 years in one odd way or another. There's a pretty obvious visual distinction between me and the entire rest of the air bus. Certainly there's got to be at least one other career scumbag on this flight.
 It was then that a bright idea oozed through my filthy mesh hat. Our generation needs a proper calling card! A way to cut through the dramatic BS and all the artsy fartisms. Psychological dog tags for our fellow clansmen. A visual K-9 butt sniff amongst tribal mongrels!

 In the time it took to fly from The United States of America to Sweden, I was able to break down the core motivating forces in myself and I suspect all the rest of my friends. Now If you are reading this and I know you are, you might be interested in motorcycles, riding them or making them or owning more than one building full of them. Lucky for you, this amazing break through I broke through on the jumbo liner may apply to someone you know too!

 Theres 3 choices. 3 fundamental reasons why I still file, grind, weld, make way too much god damned noise all day, haggle with old men about shit that some kid will haggle with me about someday, collect garbage, stay up too late on craigslist, worry about obscure tires from 40 years ago, wonder what steel shot leaves the best finish on aluminum from before the Korean War....its best to break them down one at a time, but you knew that was coming right?

Denominator #1: Size Compensation
Now relax this doesn't always mean what you think it means. Size could be a height requirement that never got met, it could mean you never had anything as a child, little arms, balding in your late teens, or yea, I guess it can mean you have a meek shriveler, or a withered wiggler.

Denominator #2: Father Issues
Pretty self explanatory. The old man was gone a lot, thought you were a pussy, or some other weird psychological mind warper. Somehow you gotta prove to your subconscious inner father that you are shaping up to be a fine young man.

Denominator #3: Male infatuation
You have an unquenchable desire to be in the company of other men. While it may never escalate to intense passion, ultimately I think that's what lies at the top floor of this particular motivator.

Now don't go mother f'ing me all at once! I know when you break this down cold it sounds like a nagging ex girlfriend talking about why she thought the relationship between the two of you was a disaster or a bunch of metro intellectuals quietly critiquing a wily pack of 2 wheeled pack hunters from the safety of their booth at the Internet cafe. I hate it as much as you do. It was a long flight. The better half of the time over the Atlantic was spent trying to convince myself I had just eaten that in flight meal too fast or maybe the cabin pressure was dangerously low. You're probably thinking hell this is ridiculous. I just like moto bikes. I like the way they look, I like riding, or I like working on them. That's fine, that's normal. This regulatory system is designed for people with motorcycle helmet tattoos on their chest. Or carburetors on their beds. People that own a 15,000.00 Panhead but they haven't been able to pay off that 3500.00 credit card debt in ten years. This is for people with 2 tool boxes just full of body hammers. Sick people.
 Look I don't like this any more than you do. I think the sooner we all come to grips the sooner we can move past it. We've all joked about each possibility amongst our friends. In fact you can be guilty of not 1/3 but 2/3 or even all 3/3!

 Which leads me to my brilliant idea! I think its hi time our generation puts their mark on the quintessential biker jacket of the ages. Our forefathers gave us the 69, the 13, AMA were the 99% and outlaws were the other number. I think our generation has spent enough time on long flights to know the root of it all. Its time we celebrated the age of enlightenment. I invite you all to proclaim your fraction. The best/most important part is you must never divulge what the fraction signifies. Its important because it signifies you have come to terms with your motivating force, you are one with the maker. Now you are flying the plane!
- Brandon Casquilho / Stockholm / 04-04-2012