tisdag 17 april 2012

The Cole Foster Interview Part 2

Here we go, part2 of the C.F. interview. In this installment we talk a little about Cole’s dad, Pat Foster. Then we go into some fond memories of Salinas Boys and some Salinas Boy hopefuls that didn’t quite get through the training program.

B: ok I don’t wanna dwell too much on your Dad cuz you know, that blog entry’s probably somewhere already (laughter)

C: yea…

B: one time, I hope we can talk about this, but one time I guess he was back east racing maybe? And somebody finally caught him and called him on his bullshit and made him make a phone call?

C: oh yea. That was a good one. Yea yea yea it was pretty bad ass… actually, yea I’ll tell ya, I guess it would be 1971? No wait… I was in sixth grade so 1975. It was the summer that I changed…

B: yea? (laughter)

C: You know my dad’s marriage, divorce, grandparents died, you know what I mean- gnarly, mom was humping the neighbor, it was just crazy, I found out Dad was with another girl…

B: an unscheduled punch in the balls?

C: Yea but whatever, he told me later… he was driving a race car out of Chicago and he was staying there. And years later when he came home I never knew why he quit or said he got fired or whatever. He came home cause he was seein some other race car guy’s little chickie. When the guy found out, he was a bad motherfucker, those Chicago guys didn’t fuck around you know he was South Chicago.

B: oh man…

C: So he found out, took dad at gun point to a phone booth, you know, gun to his head. And he says ok call the chick up, tell her that you’re splitting. So dad does it, not because he had a gun on him but just says hey whatever, Im out of here, nice knowing you ( to the chick)… then the guy says now call your wife. Then made my dad call his wife and tell her he had a girlfriend. My dad says he absolutely didn’t call his wife but just faked it and talked bullshit into the phone and the guy bought it.

B: gnarly!

C: yea really he faked it. But he did come right the fuck home after! (laughter)

Pat got more done by 10 am than we did all day. Bad mofo.

B: there must have been so much crazy shit goin on back then, wild west shit. Suitcases of blow for top fuel motors.

C: well there was actually a guy on tour from New York I think, Broadway Freddy. You may have heard of him. He was a hit man for the mob and drove a funny car (laughter). He was pretty famous, in mob books and shit…

B: shit maybe we shouldn’t talk about him…

C: oh no he’s dead they killed him. He had a huge cock you know? Like MANDINGO…

B: yea I think they all have em. You need one to drive on fuel. For ballast?

C: yea but Freddy’s was extra special … and it was cut off and put in his mouth (laughter)

B: (laughter) that’s where I’d like to have mine put finally…

C: those mob guys liked to do fucked shit to each other.

B: yea Mussolini too right when he got his? Maybe it’s an Italian thing… when fates fickle finger finally fucks you.

B: your dad kinda got you into smoking cigarettes right?

C: nah..

B: well didn’t you have to keep a few lit in your mouth in the pits so you could hand him one after a run?

C: well yea, yea he liked to have a smoke after a pass so I sometimes had to light him up one so yea maybe there was a start of a little addiction there.. but you know we just smoked as kids around the neighborhood…

B: ok got it…

C: oh here’s Noah (Greenberg) now. Hi…

B: Hiiii

C: Noah stayed up till 3am last night working on a mini bike.

B: wow Noah really?

C: yea I just finished some sheet metal for a little Bultaco so now Noah’s is the Jew Taco (laughter)

B: nice! Holy shit! I miss that fucker.

C: it’s actually one of those little crotch rockets

Noah: the Jewzuki

B: haha like the ones you buy at the flea market?

C: yea (laughter)

B: HiyaJewsa? (laughter)

C: HayaJewsa! He put some Rico type bars on it now it’s like a little motard

B: does Job (Stevens) ever ride the Berzerker anymore?

C: No

B: that’s a shame he has the best style.

B: who do you think has the best style on a bike? Who looks like they belong on one the most?

C: J (Jessee) probably and (Danny) Takahashi.

B: yea J for sure for me, I always attributed that to the fact that he surfed and just knew how to sit, but Danny’s great too. I don’t know if Danny surfs but he’s a kick boxer guy I think? I think he’s an animal and he’s modest about it. Masters of balance…

C: 3 days ago (Ben) Rega had this bike he went through, some thumper 500cc farm bike. We got there just as it was firing time, the perfect time. So he lights it up, we’re tuning the carb and nobody wanted to ride it. So I said here I’ll ride the fucking thing. No seat, never been on it, we didn’t even take it around the building once. I went 3 feet on the piece of shit and it just stood on its back wheel just stunt man high, back fender scraping wheelie. I just got hurt on that 4 wheeler at Pismo now I got this thing up in the air down Burton Avenue. I finally got the clutch in and nothing. Im waiting for this thing to come down and its just coasting on the back wheel how far Noah? 40? 50 feet? It was long enough for me to look all the way around at those guys and just look at them like really? (Laughter)

B: (laughter) the Foster Fulcrum point?

C: yea it was enough time to plan out how after I dumped this bike Rega just repainted and brought back to life, Id just stick it into a pole, get up, not say shit, get in my truck and run it over on the way out and that would be it (laughter)

this is what we usually look like

B: (laughter)

B: Ben worked for you for a minute right?

C: no not really

B: who has worked for you for the longest? Aaron (Elliot) probably?

C: yea by far

B: would you say he was your biggest success story?

C: success as in money? skill?  or in passing on bad habits!?   I love Aaron he is very skilled , he has been loyal and gets me excited about projects and has scheems to get rich all the time. Good sense of humor.  Hes my boy for sure.  Half the time people ask if hes my son.  He has a cute baby head
B: what about Corey (Coniers) hes pretty switched on right?

C: Yea he’s very good. But my biggest success story?  Whos the best? Man, I don’t know that’s a tuff one man Im gonna have to say no comment on that one.

B: (laughter)

C: The worst one ever is Jameson

B: (laughter) yea Jameson worthless retard. Remember the wolf kid?

C: there were a lot of kids that came and went that just didn’t have it you know? More than kids that did… for sure. But you and Thomas, Thomas had it when he got here you know? Not really style. But he was a very good mechanic, he could Viking his way through anything.

B: yea wasn’t he in the army in Norway?

C: hes probably reading this, hi. Hi Thomas…

B: hello Cole (in Norweigan accent) he was up in the morning waaay before any of us.

C: yea but Rega learned a lot just by hangin around I mean that shoebox he chopped is plenty good for a rookie job.

B: by far he was the best looking Salinas Boy though right

C: yea Ben was hot but Ive had some beautiful ones… that David kid was just beautiful in highschool

B: that guy hates me, that’s the guy whos chick just used him for citizenship right? (laughter) he was good lookin.

C: yea it was sad. There was this one kid and he still haunts me to this day and its been ten years. He was Ness’d out with love and hate on his hands and a panther tattoo on his neck. He worked one day, couldn’t do anything cut himself real bad. He just sucked I can’t remember this fuckers name. He just had this weird dream about himself.

B: so what he dressed like he’d been doin it his whole life, looked the part but he couldn’t do anything?

C: he looked like Mike Ness he was just a little cocky. He was just junk the first day. The rad part was he was some imposter dude. He went and worked were you did at Steve Moals, worked at Aiellos, he worked everywhere in the Bay Area. He would go into shops saying he worked here and he was the shop foreman and I was just a guy in the office. He said he built my Starliner and some other cars and he got hired at every place. And I didn’t know Steve Moal or those other guys but they knew of me and figured well fuck if he’s the guy then hes hired. But they didn’t know me enough to call me and say shit man if this is your shop foreman then you suck ass you know? I wish I could remember his name Id give you his number (laughter) I finally got a call from somebody sayin’ do you know this guy saying he’s this and that and he’s your shop foreman over there and so I called Jason (Jessee). The guy lived in Santa Cruz and I asked J if he ever saw him. Turns out the guy was dating some chick up the street from Jason so one day Jason took him.

B: (laughter)

C: so J grabbed him and locked him in his garage and the kid was crying and clawing at the walls. And J left me a message that said I have him! So I call him back like you still got him? Jason was like yea I’ve had him for a few hours and he’s getting real crazy!

B: oh god

C: so Jason’s got him and I made him call all the shops he worked for and apologize to them or something (laughter) but just last year I got a call from some place back east that asked about him again! I guess he’s been using my name again! God I wish I could remember his name.

B: I’ll find his name he’s finished. He’s done.

C: then there was the guy from Washington remember him?

B: hmmm, no I don’t think so

C: fuck really the big tall kid with the brain tumor?

B: oh shit!

C: ok shut up and listen this will be quick. So I was finishing up that Sal Tarentino truck and I really needed a clean up kid. And this guy was ready to move down. He moved from Washington. Then when he gets here he tells me that his parents sent him down to Mexico to get some experimental treatment for a brain tumor. I guess the Mexican doctor was just feeding these people in this clinic battery acid. Everybody died but him I guess. But it blew out his stomach. So the kids first day here he had that giant bowel movement… that bloated bowel something…

B: irritable bowel syndrome?

C: it wasn’t even a smell anymore…

B: it was more of an experience?

C: it’s something that you’ll never forget it would be like going into a slaughter house. He’d just destroy people where they worked. People would tell him never ever go into my house again…

B: no way…

C: but whatever, we had this idiot and he didn’t last very long and he was the guy like: I can weld and you’d hand him the mig welder and hed say shit like how long do you want me to tack it for? And we’d say what I thought you could do this shit and he’d say I can I just haven’t learned how yet. He lived at Job’s he infiltrated my phone book. Job said one day: he’s destroyed us you need to get him out of here. I was like ok I will tell him tomorrow and Job’s like no you need to tell him right now. It’s a long story but whatever I kinda fired him and he got a job at (Mike) Hubbards but he was fucked. He never had a job before you know? He was like a kid in a bubble his mom never let him out of the house. He was calling other hot rod shops in my phone book. Shit had hit the wall in the bathroom and he never cleaned it up, he ate all the food at Jobs. He had to go. But whatever so the last night at the shop we needed him. We were finishing that truck for Sal and he was helping but he’d get fatigued all the time because of the fuckin tumor.

B: oh man (laughter)

C: So he was always taking little breaks. We’d be workin just thrashing on this fuckin truck and he’d say shit like I need to go lie down. So I tell him ok go lie down and then I tell Corey, ok go fuckin’ next door and buy some speed from the neighbor. So Corey comes back with some speed, and I tell Corey go to 7-11 and gets some Mountain Dew or whatever he’ll fall for. So we doused him with some speed, this kids never smoked a joint never drank any alcohol… and to this day he doesn’t even know he’s done crystal meth or whatever right? like raw Mexican meth. (laughter)

B: (laughter)

C: I told Corey hey don’t kill him just give him a little… you know? (laughter) and put the rest in ours! (laughter) it was like a rad experiment like a rat. I was like hey these Mountain Dews are supposed to really give you some energy so he drinks it and all of a sudden he goes I FEEL FANTASTIC and he worked all night and never complained and THESE MOUNTAN DEWS ARE INCREDIBLE and Im like yea you’re right now clean up! So that was his last night, he didn’t die and the next day I had to fire him.

B: (laughter)

C: I told him the next day he was the worst. He ate all our food he couldn’t clean his own ass. He infiltrated our lives. I told him the next day he was leaving. No Im not he says. Yes you are I said or I’m gonna fuck you up. But before you leave you have to tell everybody you’re sorry and write everybody a letter about what a fucking cunt you are. I told him I’m not running a make a wish program here (laughter) I said if you do this maybe someday, we’re not gonna ever be friends, but if I see you I will wave to you and then we’re gonna keep walking…

B: (laughter) that sounds good I’d take that deal

C: so he left the next day crying. But like 2 years later I get a call from him saying we changed his life and that he didn’t realize he was a piece of shit and his parents raised him to be a piece of shit (laughter)

B: you changed his life! It was like that day you had back in 1975!

C: yea we helped him (laughter) and now he’s good he’s got a family and a good job! Works for a big name hot rod company now I hear. I still see him I still don’t talk to him. He walks by I get a nod and that’s it you know? For life. (laughter)

B: sounds good.

C: So yea most kids at the shop learn a lot and do pretty good you know, except for Jameson.

To be continued in part 3!

3 kommentarer:

  1. Wow Senor, one in depth, left field, beautifully bizarre interview, revealing in so many ways . . . you guys would make a great double act !!!

  2. Trying to find the Best Dating Site? Create an account and find your perfect date.