onsdag 4 april 2012

Brandon Invades Stockholm!


Oh my word its wonderful to be here! I'm not sure what the Stranglers meant when they said it was the only place were the clouds were interesting. The plane trip was a long one. Lots of time to think. It was a clear night and you could see for miles. You could see for years. I found myself  thinking about all the steps that had led me to that very point. For no intelligent reason at all, I was travelling 30,000 feet up in a relatively comfortable chair encased in a large aluminum thermos with wings. 

 Most of the passengers were dressed in your typical Euro airport travel garb. Urban hiking gear and obscure running shoes, upper middle class dress code. Everyone seemed to be enjoying their communal commuter coma. Rubbing my hands over my embarrassing worn out pants, i see the dirt in the cracks of my skin and the grease lodged under the my crusted fingers. It seems like Ive been kicking my own ass for the past 20 years in one odd way or another. There's a pretty obvious visual distinction between me and the entire rest of the air bus. Certainly there's got to be at least one other career scumbag on this flight.
 It was then that a bright idea oozed through my filthy mesh hat. Our generation needs a proper calling card! A way to cut through the dramatic BS and all the artsy fartisms. Psychological dog tags for our fellow clansmen. A visual K-9 butt sniff amongst tribal mongrels!

 In the time it took to fly from The United States of America to Sweden, I was able to break down the core motivating forces in myself and I suspect all the rest of my friends. Now If you are reading this and I know you are, you might be interested in motorcycles, riding them or making them or owning more than one building full of them. Lucky for you, this amazing break through I broke through on the jumbo liner may apply to someone you know too!

 Theres 3 choices. 3 fundamental reasons why I still file, grind, weld, make way too much god damned noise all day, haggle with old men about shit that some kid will haggle with me about someday, collect garbage, stay up too late on craigslist, worry about obscure tires from 40 years ago, wonder what steel shot leaves the best finish on aluminum from before the Korean War....its best to break them down one at a time, but you knew that was coming right?

Denominator #1: Size Compensation
Now relax this doesn't always mean what you think it means. Size could be a height requirement that never got met, it could mean you never had anything as a child, little arms, balding in your late teens, or yea, I guess it can mean you have a meek shriveler, or a withered wiggler.

Denominator #2: Father Issues
Pretty self explanatory. The old man was gone a lot, thought you were a pussy, or some other weird psychological mind warper. Somehow you gotta prove to your subconscious inner father that you are shaping up to be a fine young man.

Denominator #3: Male infatuation
You have an unquenchable desire to be in the company of other men. While it may never escalate to intense passion, ultimately I think that's what lies at the top floor of this particular motivator.

Now don't go mother f'ing me all at once! I know when you break this down cold it sounds like a nagging ex girlfriend talking about why she thought the relationship between the two of you was a disaster or a bunch of metro intellectuals quietly critiquing a wily pack of 2 wheeled pack hunters from the safety of their booth at the Internet cafe. I hate it as much as you do. It was a long flight. The better half of the time over the Atlantic was spent trying to convince myself I had just eaten that in flight meal too fast or maybe the cabin pressure was dangerously low. You're probably thinking hell this is ridiculous. I just like moto bikes. I like the way they look, I like riding, or I like working on them. That's fine, that's normal. This regulatory system is designed for people with motorcycle helmet tattoos on their chest. Or carburetors on their beds. People that own a 15,000.00 Panhead but they haven't been able to pay off that 3500.00 credit card debt in ten years. This is for people with 2 tool boxes just full of body hammers. Sick people.
 Look I don't like this any more than you do. I think the sooner we all come to grips the sooner we can move past it. We've all joked about each possibility amongst our friends. In fact you can be guilty of not 1/3 but 2/3 or even all 3/3!

 Which leads me to my brilliant idea! I think its hi time our generation puts their mark on the quintessential biker jacket of the ages. Our forefathers gave us the 69, the 13, AMA were the 99% and outlaws were the other number. I think our generation has spent enough time on long flights to know the root of it all. Its time we celebrated the age of enlightenment. I invite you all to proclaim your fraction. The best/most important part is you must never divulge what the fraction signifies. Its important because it signifies you have come to terms with your motivating force, you are one with the maker. Now you are flying the plane!
- Brandon Casquilho / Stockholm / 04-04-2012

12 kommentarer:

  1. Ahhh yes, it feels great to be back in my normally abnormal world after five days of extreme toothache and Elephant Man like facial swelling to come at my first update from, of all crew I interact with, Mr Hips . . . thamks for the Uplift Moto Party Plan . . . I feel so much better now !!!

    SvaraRadera
  2. Nice write up, I agree totally. Keep on keepin' on!

    SvaraRadera
  3. I think its fundamentally more MONKEY than that.
    When a Baboon is ready to mate its hind-quarters flush with blood and it parades its bright red monkey arse about the troupe to see who is "up for it". I think that's what bikers do. When you see a sports bike rider, in their leathers tearing down the motorway with their arse in the air.
    They are "presenting" like a fucking Baboon. And the reason transport got faster is so you can get there first and have best pick of all the other baboons. Choppers is basically the same except we don't care about the best pick.
    We will fuck any Baboon.

    SvaraRadera
  4. I saw a video of jeff decker a while back, and he put it thus - "dudes need dudes - not in a homo way" he then said about how in hunting parties the males would go off and share adventures together, talk shit, and rip the piss into each other for a couple of days before returning home to the women. Damn- they probably caught the pig the walked into camp with 4 days later within 20 mins of leaving, but they went and partied for the next couple of days -cos that's what blokes do!
    Blokes like doing favours for mates (not homo favours persay), but they like to do things for other blokes - cos that's what blokes do. Women don't understand this....

    SvaraRadera
  5. Im gonna throw my two cents in here and say the last two replies hit it closest. Decker even says something about how the motorcycle is the modern extension of the horse, which was the modern extension of a foot race. Essentially all three accomplish the same thing: be the first one there so you can fuck your first pick among the cave women present.

    Yes, I'm covered in motorcyle tattoos, have a carburetor sitting on my kitchen table just for sheer admiration, yes I get covered in grinding dust and burns and busted knuckles. But at the end of the day, I wear a respirator, eye and ear protection, take a shower and wash my hair, and throw the crappy jeans and holey shirts in the corner and put on some cleans clothes. At some point there is this "I'm more Blue Collar than you!" attitude which is just a bunch of chest pounding and red-assed display. You've got to want better for yourself. It's important to be content with what you have, but also healthy to want to progress beyond your current level. Even Jeff Decker is a product of this. He comes from true gear head stock, yet he recieves 7 figure paydays from a single sculpture. Is he dismissed as bourgeois? No he's accepted by all levels of society. In my mind he is a sculpting God and master curator of old iron.

    Rise above, nuff said.

    SvaraRadera
  6. Well put Brandon - sweet story...

    SvaraRadera
  7. "you must never divulge what the fraction signifies"

    Exactly! bravo Brandon, bravo!

    SvaraRadera
  8. 2/3. The third is threateningly close.

    SvaraRadera
  9. Travel is fun. Sweden is awesome!

    SvaraRadera
  10. im gonna name my shop "3/3 customs".

    SvaraRadera
  11. Sure, now drink the cool aid. Keep creating what is desired to you. The world and forefathers will either like it or not. But they do not matter for acceptance in the grand scheme of things. Only personal satisfaction will bring 3/3.

    I just re-read what I typed, not sure I get it.

    SvaraRadera