onsdag 27 april 2011

How To Narrow A Springer Step By Step

The Leader of The American Cave Dwellers has once again managed to establish electrical contact with the Elk dwelling Northmen from the multi-dimensional tornado of doom, dancing over the frozen thundra. The death of every cell membrane structure known to man, the virgin birth of a baby seal and nothing in between. A brain desolving baton pass of love that'll continue to echo between parallel universes for eternal time. But what do I know? I'm just a mailman, Brandon is the letter writer:

I'm always the last one to know the score. Man honestly sometimes I never find out. One time I almost got aids - never even knew it. Being modest is the new arrogant? Finger jewelry is the new chain wallet? I'm so obscure I don't even know who I am anymore. Who's the new Zack Gallafanackuss of the SKATEBOARD CROSS OVER SCENE? I feel old. For real. I think it's from all the drugs. I cant help myself. I just love drugs. They're the best. Normal life is awful. Have you looked at your normal ass life? Stop and smell the roses? Enjoy the simple things in life? Only if they're covered in drugs.

What I can't understand is where all the money comes from? I mean, who's financing all these Knuckleheads? I've been a professional car builder phony for 10 years now? I'm 33? I went to work for Cole at ...23? yeah... 10 years. Professional? Haha yeah right. It's my profession? Lame. Anyway, I'm always broke. So I don't think theres any real money in this. I don't think there should be. But what we need to find out is how everybody else is making it look so good/easy/easyrider. For years I figured it was just clowns with trust funds or big insurance settlements or healthy residuals from embarrassing dog shit. But lately, thanks to the drugs, I've been inclined to think there's another big break through that once again I've been left out of...

Living out in Richmond, you have to keep your wits about you. Know the beat down on that dirty street. Randomly I was buying some cheap groceries at the dollar store and I saw these 2 cultural fellas covered in diamonds and gold. I overheard them talking about a guy downtown with a machine that would turn garbage into gold! I mean ACTUAL GOLD! Well, these days I've been seriously thinking about unloading all this junk that I keep telling myself one day I'll have the time and money to do something with. I figured why not, I'll just bring ONE little trinket with me and see if this guy's on the level. Finding the location of this Modern Day Alchemist was easy enough, I just followed the folks downtown wearing the most gold.

The next part of this story is going to seem pretty hard to believe but I promise, its all perfectly conceivable in these circumstances. And you people at home can interact with the story if you like. It's best that you take as many drugs as you can without dying from this point on.

Dr. Phillip Good was apparently a brilliant rogue pharmacist in the later part of the 90's. However his practice was taken from him for reasons unrelated to this story. What's important is he has since developed a powerful ray using science and light waves to change photon phases and re-arrange molecular orientation by multiverse exchange student technology. Basically by manifesting the possibility of another reality, we manifest it in the multiverse, this ray will then cause a rift that will transport matter from this reality into the opposing reality. Dr Phillip basically has a version of himself waiting in the multiverse to exchange our garbage for gold, which is abundant in his coinciding dimension. Pretty simple concept really, so I gladly handed him my Springer.
The lights grew dim as the garbage matter was placed on the table. The ray pulled a lot of electricity. We had to keep from thinking heavy thoughts.

The ray emitted a painfully bright flash, then fire burst from mid air, a portal had opened!

You could smell the hair singed from Dr. Phillips beautiful beard. Another colossal flash, more powerful than the first we were dangerously close to being killed!!

And then the lights returned. The Springer was gone. What sat on the pedestal was no pile of gold however.

Dr. Phillip scratched his burning beard. Unsure of why the transdimensional portal had sent us back the African Santa. - Could it be that Santa is African in the Multiverse? Or maybe the gold had been depleated in the new dimension? Were Dr. Phillips mathematical figures slightly off? A small error in this dimension could equate to bizarro events in another. I WAS CERTAINLY GETTING SKEPTICAL.

Then with a loud fwooosh!!! The head of African Santa shot flames! The portal had opened once again!
No!!!! Cried Dr. Phillip! The ray is still running and your skepticism has manifested yet another mal aligned form from the dimensional door! All is lost!

Things had taken a turn. What was now crouched stealthily and gleaming in front of us was clearly no Santa. It's the 14 Karat Warrior from the 155th Dimension!! Screamed Dr. Phillip!

I was mortified. My lack of faith had conjured a fierce being from a world that existed alongside our own. Possibly this deadly monster was created by my manifestations? Too late for introspection. I looked to Dr. Phillip for some kind of solution!
Our only chance is to summon another trans dimensionall dweller! Someone who can defeat this golden demon! The doctors shrieks of horror were interrupoted by another flash! The door had opened once again.

There in front of the Majestic and muscular golden Warrior lay my springer fork! At least I thought it was my springer fork!!
Somehow through its travels through time and space it had changed. This new fork was much narrower, stronger, deadly even. With a look of courage in his eyes, the good Doctor grabbed the Springer!

As Dr. Phillip placed his hands upon the shining and narrow Springer front end, he was transformed. I shall manifest my own destiny Cried the Doctor! I shall become the Samurai Barbarian of the NORTH!!!

Determined to cast the 4k Warrior back to the 155th dimension, a grueling battled ensued.

But the golden warrior was no match for the powerful blows thrown down by the Springer weilding BARBARIAN.

The Golden Warrior, while very handsome and mysterious had lost, and fled back to dimension 155.

With the villain vanquished the triumphant Barbarian morphed back into the doctor.

I crawled out from under a pile of wreckage to find the doctor holding the Springer.

It was left behind. Or maybe it was your destiny all along to manifest this new Springer young man, said the Doctor.

When the 14 karat Warriors of the multiverse threaten us, we can call on our strengths and send them back to where they belong!

The most valuable weapon in the transdimensional struggle isn't gold at all!

The alchemy is inside you!

söndag 24 april 2011

The World Is Flat

Long time ago back in the Garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve were still discovering each other under the great Tree of Knowledge, the Demonic Serpent ambushed them mercilessly and manipulated them by giving both Adam and Eve peripheral vision.

And peripheral vision is something that we humans still live with to this day. The Serpent’s reason for doing so was to give us humans the illusion of living in a spherical world, to provide us with the illusion that we are living on a round planet.

Guess what, we’re not. Our world is flat like a sheet of paper. We are all living on the very edge of a cylindrical nanosecond located around the fourth dimension.

Time is our soil; it’s only that through the spawn of the Serpent we’ve always experienced time as something round, just look at how we designed almost every clock – round and constantly repeating itself; the snake biting its own tail, the closed circle – the symbol of eternity. All lies, circles are evil, circumference is evil and the only true symbol of eternity is a flat line, not a bowed one.

Time does not work in circular patterns, time is totally linear, and that’s why we’ve never been able to fully understand time. Multitudes of people thought Einstein nailed it when he said something like “time is what you measure by a clock” but that’s still a pretty incomplete statement, even if you ignore the fact that the clock itself is a complete lie. I actually take Albert’s statement a lot more like a sign of giving up on understanding time, than anything else.

Jesus Christ was crucified on a perfectly flat two dimensional cross, a symbol of two crossed lines, the symbol of two worlds crossing; The Annunaki sorcerers and the humanoids, the cross itself was fabricated by a few brave human souls from Bethlehem in hope to send out a sign to the world, a sign of the final truth.

Evil priest class dimension-hopping demons wanted to crucify Jesus to a great wooden circle but they got beat down by the Palestinians, so the only circular thing they managed to get on him was the crown of thorns.

Since we humans have continued through all times with our distorted vision of a peripheral system, we’ve also committed some heavily distorted constructions, like the OHV's ...when humans first designed the combustion engine it was a beautiful Flathead, the flat line will always remain the symbol of final truth and heavenly glory.

And then over time the demonic peripheral distortion got too heavy and the human race became more confused than ever before, a strong proof of this was when people first started designing hemispheric combustion chambers and over head valves, OHV’s are not operating linear up and down like the divine Flatheads, the OHV’s distorted the divine flat line of truth.

The dreadful rocker arm construction manipulated the valves to open back downwards against the lifters committing a circle of treason.

The over head valve construction created the beginning of a circular movement, the opening act of evil, the ultimate treason. Today Jesus’ cross is long gone, decomposed since many many years, and that leaves the Flathead as the only thing that remains totally pure, the very thing that continues to echo through all eternity as the unlimited divine symbol of final truth.

The world is flat.

onsdag 20 april 2011

Chain Stuffed Meatloaf With Parkerized Gravy

The word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only, who came from the father, full of grace and truth.
- John 1:14

Are you one of those culinary souls who have a tendency to endulge in mind altering activities like crockpot long cooking then this is definetly for you; this luxurious yet easy take on a classic meat loaf is one of our most trusted recipes here at RHS.

The ingridiences you need for the chain stuffed meatloaf are:
1 Harley-Davidson outer primary cover
1 Harley-Davidson inner primary cover
1 primary chain
A hand full of cad-plated hardware and cork seals
9 liters of parkerizing fluid and about the same amount of beer.
RHS - Helping adventurous souls achieve culinary inspiration since 2007

tisdag 19 april 2011

Peter Longhair The Hero

Peter's new dual carb Knuckle chop is a mindmelter.

1440 cc of screaming Knucklehead power, dual Amal Monoblocs and Rigid Hips restored magneto complete with a Teardrop Of Ingmar Bergman.

Peter is one of the best dudes in the business, it takes people like him if I'm gonna stay interested.
Rainbow braces pic sniped from Räka Productions

fredag 15 april 2011

A Tempestuous Bouquet Of Tricks

The stroked 1947 crankcase for the TT Knuck is finally finished. A tricky mission for sure but Charley pulled it off with ease. So many small tricks done to it, like steel inserts at the frame mounts.

And threaded inserts in the generator mounting holes. The Wico magneto is bolted down at 26 degrees sharp, this chain drive construction proved to be a solid one since there is no difference in degrees what so ever between the front and rear sprockets.

Here's how the peekaboo cam cover turned out. There was such a brain melting amount of work that had to be done to make it look this simple. The cover is split at an angle to seal up properly and then machined from top to bottom with a 1 mm mill to make a vertical seat for the o-ring, a pretty complicated surgery since the cam cover is curved and not straight from top to bottom. It also required a serious part of welding to build up the connecting surface in the lid, and then both surfaces had to be milled again at the exact same angle.

Since one of the plugs in the case that fixates the cam cover ended up on the lid, Charley also had to machine the case for a new one to make sure there's still two plugs fixating the rear part of the cam cover. You can peep the newly installed plug at the very top of the cam cover - right between the lifter housings, and after the plug was installed the oil canal in the case had to be re-routed/re-drilled. Looks pretty handsome with a cam cover bolt pattern that's not interupted by any generator screw holes... Well, that's only some of the stuff that had to be done to make this thing come together, alot of work for sure but well worth it and after all I'll be able to re-set the ignition without unbolting the cam cover, and that alone feels like a victory of biblical proportions.

torsdag 14 april 2011

The Ballad Of Brandon & The American Cave Dwellers

The sky was wide and weary, electric arrow lightening cracked the land, as the forests were all quiet and the cities they were all made of sand

I wish you could have been there, on the day all music started in the spring, I wish you could have been there to see the endless band of gypsies rolling in

I ate a thousand mountains, I drank a thousand oceans can’t you see

That I walked a thousand planets, I formed a thousand armies, and now I’m free.

onsdag 13 april 2011

260 & 261 - Serial Side Draft Salvation

I just came across another pair of Riley Racing Carbs. These are a matched set of early style castings without the main jet air bleed between the floatbowl and throat. Note how they're stamped 1 and 2 at top of floatbowls and throats, I'd guess it's for time saving while wrenching/tuning during racing - pretty cool.

And unlike most Riley carbs the idle circuits on these carbs were never drilled out for alcohol, they even had the same size main jets and idle tubes as I was planning to use!

Matching serial numbers, now that's so radical it almost scares me, it's a sign for sure - but I have no idea of what? ...I wish I knew. Now they just need a few things, like a good cleaning and a Knucklehead motor - well, don't we all?